The Awesome Story

It was silent. The entire planet had just exploded and nearly everyone was dead. James was slowly waking up after being knocked out by the impact, but was struggling due to the excruciating pain that was taking over his entire body. The last thing he needed was the laser that was about to strike him.

It just circled him. At first there was no sight of the cause of this mysterious beam, until the lights appeared. There were nearly one-thousand lights floating down from the sky, each one a different colour and they appeared to be in orbit around the laser. Where did they come from? One thing was sure; they were not from the ice-cream van that was parked across the street.

Then it appeared. This was no ordinary spaceship; this one had a rocket launcher by the door. "What would they use that for?" wondered James. He didn't have much time for thought. As soon as the spaceship landed, the large door began to open. The thing appeared.

It was clearly no ordinary zombie, as this zombie did not appear to be of any particular gender, and was wearing a T-shirt with Chuck Norris's face on it.

"What is your purpose on this planet!?" hissed the zombie to James.

"I l...live here...," replied James, now even more terrified than before.

"That can be sorted out! You have three minutes to disappear, or my robot army will exterminate you!"

James quickly started to run, but the zombie pulled out a magic clock and started to move the hands. James just watched as time itself started moving around him!

"Three minutes is up!" screamed the zombie. All of a sudden, another spaceship crash landed next to the first one and the door opened. Out walked an elderly man who was holding a piece of paper. He turned towards the zombie and started to talk.

"Sorry sir, the robot army are busy – they've been called to Mars. Turns out there's been an outbreak of spiders." The old man turned to James. "Never you mind though, the backup army will exterminate you instead! Epic Army of Doom, GO!"

Another four men got out of the spaceship, each carrying a machete. Following them was a gorilla who was carrying a barrel, and then came along 3 Mudkips, who were each riding roller-skates. James started to run, however as soon as he'd ran about 10 metres away from the spaceship a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex jumped in front of him. James ran around the T. Rex however it started chasing him. James had no choice other than to run into the forest.

Running was not an easy task for James as he was still suffering from his injury; however he seemed to be keeping a safe distance from the T. Rex. That was, of course, until the dragon flew in from the opposite direction and started breathing fire at James!

James kept running. With both the dragon and the T. Rex behind him he had no other choice, until he saw a hole in the ground that he thought would be the perfect size to hide in. It was. He ducked down into the hole, without either the dinosaur or the dragon seeing him.

The dragon quickly gave up and flew away; however the case with the T. Rex was a more painful one. After gradually losing control of its body, it kept running until it crashed straight into a tree.

After 26 minutes, James left the hole. It was safe at last. Or was it? Suddenly, he saw another spaceship falling out of the sky – it was getting closer. And closer. All of a sudden it landed on his head!

...

James woke up. He gradually started to recognise his surroundings. There was a large table in front of him, which was covered entirely with empty drink bottles.

"This... can't... be...," James said to himself. It was his own kitchen.

James never got drunk again.